Oh it has been so very very long!

Well, in my defense, I've been very very busy. You see, there was the show at Lyco, then a whole bunch of DRAMA outside of the theatre world to deal with, and well, now I am on to Thoroughly Modern Millie at CTL. Which, by the way, I think is going to be pretty AMAZING- not because of me, but because of the CREW, CAST, CHOREOGRAPHER- they are all pretty darned awesome! I am just there as a facilitator really, which is totally ok by me!

Anyways, so I've been really sick lately- which isn't cool since the kids are already in "summer-mode" and now I was out Friday, and then today (Monday), and I still feel pretty darn crummy. Tomorrow should be a blast! Kirsten has been a pistol too lately! First there was the gala incident, where Jared was kind enough to baby sit, and she threw a MASSIVE Hissy fit- complete with kicking her bedroom wall and demanding that I come home. Not ok! Her punishment was NO TV for the next day (and it was a weekend- ouch). BJ was out for the day, so in the end I think it punished me more than anyone.

Now she is in this- I don 't want mommy to leave mode- which is completely uncool when Mommy has a show to rehearse, or is really really sick. She is also doing this whole "I don't want ot go to school, I want to hang out with mommy" thing. SO........... she says she has a stomach ache (and DO NOT judge me- I have mommy senses, and KNOW she is lying).... so I convince her that I towel under her jammies cures a tummy ache. It worked a month ago- I keep playing that card! Tonight- we are getting ready for bed, and she tells me she doesn't want ot go to school tomorrow- she looks around the room- sees her ear drops from her last ear infection and announces "MY EAR HURTS!" My child is a genious- but I can one up her! I pretend to put ear drops in her ear, stuff some cotton in, and call it a night! Dishonest, yes- but my child is asleep!

On the plus side, since I can admit that dragging your 5 year old to rehearsals until 9:30 and then the next night leaving her with a sitter isn't the best parenting- PLUS then I have had a fever for 4 days so I have totally ignored her- I decided to be good mommy today. We played games, cooked dinner together, and put away all of her winter clothes. Good mommy points, right there.


It is a DAMN good thing 5 year olds don't keep score. Off to school and then rehearsal tomorrow. Good God I am so tired!

Blessed

OK, that is so not a word I use often. I don't like it- I think people throw it around too freely. But seriously, I am. I ahve had friends helping me with my set until all hours of the night. People iving up free time to come and help me work on my show. And my husband has been holding down the fort very well. The house has not fallen to shambles. He has brought me dinner, straightened up the house, played with Kirsten, and even done laundry. No complaints at all. This might have something to do with the 5 weeks of shows he has coming up- but I will take it! I feel so much better knowing how supported I am. If it weren't for BJ and my friends I would be so much farther down the path to crazy. Hmmm, suddenly 15-17 hours a day at school don't seem so bad!

ugh.........

Here we go- tech week. So much to do, and so little time! And of course, instead of resting up the night before I go into battle, I CAN'T SLEEP! Not cool!

It's gonna be a long week. Wish me luck.

Roller Coaster WARNING!

Or is it watch? Which is more severe? I never remember.

At any rate, I will be posting an official (facebook) warning. Everything is official once it is on facebook. It will read: Dear friends, family, associates, and students: If there was ever a week where I might just flip my lid, we are entering it right now. The official RIS warning would read: A definite high anxiety and monthly hormone induced tornado is currently forming over the greater Williamsport Area. Expect increased irritability along with lessened patience and absolutely NO sense of humor. Sleep deprivation and a sense of guilt and inadequacy will prevail through the week, resulting in mental breakdowns and screaming fits for no apparent reason. People should avoid contact at all costs. If you have no choice but to come in contact with Ris you should take the following precautions: allow extra time to get through to her, bring some snacks in case of an extra long tirade, have cell phone so a friend can bail you out if needed, and keep extra blankets and a flashlight on hand because, well, you just never know. The sever Ris watch is in effect immediately and is expected to last at least until March 6th, but most likely it will not be lifted until March 13th at approximately 9:30pm.

Don't get me wrong. I love my job, and all that I have to do. I have created my own standards, and thus, my own monster. Kids must be pushed, people MUST strive for success. No one should strive for mediocrity. BUT- people also need to be supportive and positive for one another. On my playground, EVERYONE plays nice. Otherwise- well, you just aren't welcome in my sandbox. There will NO backstabbing or feelings of superiority in my sandbox.

I am also suffering from a case of: seriously? why couldn't I have Kirsten during a season OTHER than musical season. Tomorrow should be HER DAY! Instead, I have an all district choir concert (stress upon stress), and my husband has a meeting for his summer show. These are our jobs- and by choice, and we love it. BUT poor Kirsten. I totally made up for it with her gifts (which in the end is unacceptable, but will have to do for now). So, yeha- tomorrow, my body is at All District, but my heart is with my baby, wanting to blow out the candles.

So with that said: I must write sub plans, fold laundry, plan a rehearsal for a NON-MUSIC SUB, plan a rehearsal for another concert- oh that's tomorrow night, find something for dinner, figure out what I am going to wear, and find the strength to not flip out of anyone- even if they DEFINITELY DESERVE IT!

Wish me luck.. Have a great week.

People who FREAKING AMAZE ME!

I am blessed, because what was once a very short list, is now so much longer. Remaining on the short list is of course my immediate family (BJ, Kirsten), my less immediate family (mom, dad, lisa, and on occasion little bro Richie), and my closest friends. I am terribly missing my work "partner in crime"- my right arm, the one who completes my thoughts and takes care of all of the crap that I am incapable of and totally disinterested in. In a year or two, I plan on having her back!

And with that sadness of missing my Stef, I am amazed by the kindness of others. Ed and Reen, the busiest people I know- Reen is getting ready to open her show, with sets and props made by her and Ed, sound by Ed, light by Ed. Where was Ed tonight? At my school- putting together an entire set in 4 hours. FOUR HOURS! The two nights before he was putting parts together at his house until God knows what time. There are so many generous people in this world- but to me, time is one of the most difficult things to be generous with. Believe me- I give up a lot of time to help others- but Ed and Reen- they take the cake! So much would never get done without them!

I am also amazed by some of my new work family. I have a great "work husband" that I can rely on for anything (and his wife amazes me too for so many reasons- one of those people I aspire to be more like), the other music teacher is a sheer joy, and so easy to work with. The home ec teacher has been slaving over costumes with a smile on her face. And I can't forget the spunky art teacher, who has been teaching for many more years than I. She's in early, stays late- does extra stuff for the kids, and always has coffee on (a huge bonus!). She is a model teacher, and just a plain old hoot to be around!

Kirsten and BJ have just headed into the worst two weeks. The two weeks when mommy isn't around to play Princess Wii games with and to put Kirsten to bed. When there's no dinner on the table unless daddy makes it. I can make up for it this weekend with birthday shopping and a little cleaning (an apparently there's a snow day coming- seriously??? I have no time for that). But the resilience of a family for a few weeks- for a sake of one family member's work, hobby, and passion- well, that's pretty amazing too. Don't worry- I make up for it during marching season.

So, those are the people who amaze me. I will not cloud the happy post with the list of people who amaze me with BAD things- there are a lot of those too! For now I am very grateful for the people in my life who amaze me in a good way.

Goodnight!

Ah, the joys of Middle Schoolers and 4 year olds...

So, it's less than three weeks until our show, and I thought we were in great shape on Thursday. We cleaned dances like nobody's business. It was fabulous, it was efficient, it........ didn't show one tiny bit today! Arggggggggh! The kids are working really hard, but they are so no used to my way of working! And I just need everyone to trust me! Yes, I have done this before, and yes-I do in fact know what I am doing.

And of COURSE- since it is crunch time and I have every single SECOND of the next three weeks planned out- I get a migraine- and a doozy too! No time for this! My body is forcing me to rest up tonight- going to bed at 8pm is some serious rest for me!

On to something funnier- Kirsten looks at herself in the mirror, does a turn, and says "How come I am straight like my cousins?" I asked what she meant- and again she says, "Well, I am straight but you and Daddy aren't". I totally know where this is going, but still I ask her to explain. Her response: "I'm not saying you guys are FAT, but you aren't straight". She proceeded to point out all of my not straight parts.

She is so lucky she is cute! Tomorrow, school, moving lumber, and building..... Every other night this week- PAINTING SETS!

Stress, zits, and speaking your mind

Yeah, it's a pretty random subject line. That's ok by me. So, I've been a lazy blogger again- however those who know me know that I am nothing but lazy. I'm too busy to be lazy. Hmmm- that so very much reminds me of a song from Nichol's Worth..... anyways..... We are smack dab in the middle of musical season (which I LOVE)- but being in a new setting has upset my apple cart in ways I could have never imagined. I feel as though I am so behind- and yet, perhaps I'm not. I have become stressed by others. Others are MAKING me feel as though other things should be done. And I am letting them. My fault, my bad, whoopsie-poo! So, I decided to give up NEGATIVITY for Lent. I'm not real good iwth the whole Lent/religion thing- but there are a few things I try, and this is going to be one of them. it's not going that well, but it's a good effort- I guess that counts.

So yeah, the subject line. I am allowing myself to become stressed- and in my defense I totally should be stressed. I have bizarro things going on at work, a house to take care of, a job, a husband I should be makign time for, a show, a little girl to play with, responsibilities outside of school that I LOVE- then a talent show to produce and things I have and want to sing for and and and..... Dude, I am supposed to be stressed (and I wouldn't want it any other way)! BUT MAN- I am almost 33. I have to dye my hair to cover the grey, and I worry about wrinkles around my eyes. Seriously??????? Why oh why is stressing causing zits at my age???? And these sucker have their own zip code- they are out of control! And that makes me even more stressed. Sheesh- I though once you got to greays and wrinkles tou were done with zits! UNFAIR mother nature- UNFAIR!

Have you ever seen the movie Liar, Liar? It rocks. Actually, it's quite silly- but the premise is great. I've been told that I just need to speak my mind (this is funny because I never shut up- so one would assume that I already do speak my mind). However, I've been faking it (no, not that) for a long long time. So, Liar, Liar- the dude can ONLY speak the truth. Even when it isn't polite. The problem is, if I do that- the person who suggested it is going to be pretty angry! SO- Rewind your day- how many friends or coworkers would now be your enemy if you were forced to speak your mind? Food for thought. And now to bed. After I use zit cream.

SNOW DAY

Well, here is one way to give me time to blog! And you what sucks? Over the past week I've had so much I could write about, and now that I have the time- it's all lost in my gray matter. Oh well. So for this snow day I have breakfast and coffee planned. Then perhaps helping Kirsten finish her valentines, and then making a few of my own- or at least my dad's birthday card.

The show at school is going well I think- although I think there are some others that doubt my methods. I like to do things in a certain order- block the leads, then teach the dances, then put it all together. It might not be there way others do it, but it's been working pretty well for me for about 10 or so years. I guess everyone has a different way of doing it, and we probably all think we are right.

Since I've last written there have been some stressful things going on that I really haven't enjoyed dealing with- but it is all working out. It's not dealing with stressful THINGS that bothers me, it's what the stress of it does to me that is a real pain. Some people like to sleep when they get upset and stressed, some like to eat. I lose interest in EVERYTHING. Sleep, food, hobbies, work. It's like I want to crawl out of my skin to escape it. If you don't know the feeling you would never understand. Thankfully it's about over now, so I can move on. But it was a most unpleasant few days.

I must admit this mid-week break is brilliant for my mental health! I've been working so hard to keep it all together, that I can now use today for a little bit of catch up, and a little bit of r and r!

YAY for snow!

Have a great day!

Rolling Shadoobies, chocolate pasta, and Wii sports!

I am tired! What a good day! Road trip to Harrisburg and back was so fun! Unfortunately, U-Haul was out of "rolling turds", so we had to upsize to a "rolling shadoobie"! Still a very fun trip! Stef and I enjoyed the power of driving a truck!

Once I got home I started making my shortrib tagliatelle with bittersweet chocolate. One of the best thrills I get having people enjoy my cooking. Everyone loved it! Reeny actually was moaning through dinner- go me! Haha! I find it amazing that the addition of teaspoon of finely shaved chocolate to a beef dish totally transforms it into amazing yumminess! I think I should add chococlate to EVERYTHING! It even had shredded carrots- and BJ still liked it!

Now we are onto playing Wii Sports! Finally a video game that Reeny likes! I am off to make crepes with sauteed apples and caramel sauce! Yum!!!

Thanks Dave C!

He is the only one that is watching me I think! Nice job!

Ok, so today was BIZARRO- of course, I came home and found out it was a full moon- which totally explains it! My friends in the education world know this is true. School: it was as though every word out of my mouth was actually in CHINESE. Not one direction was followed- even when repeated in a more clear and concise manner. I could have been speaking in tongues for all they understood! ARGGGG! My altos in chamber choir this morning- well, at least they didn't sound BAD. The problem was that they didn't SOUND AT ALL! It was very frustrating, and I definitely was not in the mood to be inspiring- not a good combination!

OK, so I have a class of fabulous, popular, attractive, fun, and polite students. They are GREAT- a teacher's dream, right? Not so much. I gave them a quiz on the parts of the guitar- they had to label the parts, and on the back I had a bunch of sentences that explain what the parts do and they had to match them up. Ex: "The things you strum to create the sound on a guitar". Not difficult, right? Oh, and I forgot to mention- I GAVE THEM A COPY OF THE QUIZ 2 DAYS AGO! We went over it together. They had time to study in class before the test! Seriously?? Yeah, not good at all- I am making them take it again on Monday! Furious! I was grading them (while the kids were engaged in something else). I was like "Greg": first basemen is a part of the guitar?? REALLY??? "Mike": apple??? are you serious????

Grrrr! However! I came home, and my early birthday/valentine's day gift was on the stove. A beautiful le creuset 7 1/4 quart enamel covered cast iron pot with lid. I heard the angels singing. It is far more than a non gourmet and non-stay-at-home-mom should own! I am so excited to cook dinner tomorrow night to try it out- the cadillac of cookware! What would my friend Denise say? A man buys his wife a very expensive cooking vessel so that she can better serve him!.... Nah, Denise knows that it is to serve me and him, and our friends, and everyone I love to cook for! What a great gift!

Tomorrow, I will enjoy a LOVELY drive to harrisburg in the big rolling turd: courtesy of U Haul! ROAD TRIP! YAY!

ok, sooooo...

This whole New Year's Resolution has NOT been going very well. Everything was fine and dandy until I got really busy, and then there was no time to be selfish OR blog. And you know what- only one person mentioned it to me- Thanks Dave! So anyways- the Hickey household has become super efficient, and I am really trying to stay on top of things. The pay off for this is, of course, making me run around like crazy. BUT the laundry is caught up and there has been food on the table every night. Toys are (almost always) put away and everyone is relatively happy.

This of course, so doesn't explain why I feel SPECTACULAR on one day and then really crappy the next two days. I'm thinking that just maybe I am only happy when I have a lot to do- then once it's done- I feel really blue. Am I using housework as a drug? Does laundry and vaccuuming create a natural high? I don't know.

All I do know is that I can REALLY go for snow day!

OK, so for me- well tonight I read a really great script! That was fun- tomorrow I have a late meeting, so I will have to do "for me time" at the ass crack of dawn. Coffee at 5:30 AM baby. Me time, me time, me time.

It's so sad. But I blogged, and I have a goal. Good night!

PIE!

OK, I haven't done a damn thing today that is selfish- so I am doing it now. I intend to vegetate for the remainder of the evening. I am going to be restocking my "pie". My wonderful dr. suggested something for me to read and listen to that I am having a hard time finding- and it's about pie. Not the kind you eat- god knows I don't need that! And it's not all about pie, but she was telling about this one part. You only have so much pie to give out. And all day there are people in your life that need things from you- pieces of your "pie".

Then there are the pie-suckers- they just take and take and take. BUT! In reality, you are letting them have it- practically handing it to them! And I really think that there are people that don't actually ask anything of us- but they still take our pie because we let them get to us. Selfish people (and yes, I know it's ok to be more selfish since it's actually my goal). Overly insecure people who feel the need to always be the center of attention. People who are complainers. People who take advantage of us. When we let them get to us, we give them our pie.

Well, I want my pie back dammit! I only have so much, and I am in a deficit. A "pie recession". My pie account is in the red, and that's not ok.

Tomorrow's selfish act: I wish I could say that I wasn't going to give away any pie, but I know that isn't true. Stamping. Maybe. Or a nap- or reading a little extra of my book. One of those- yeah!

This just in!

Ok, so I'm a bad person and didn't keep my resolution for 2 days! Bad Blogger, BAD BLOGGER! I guess it's ok, since no one other than myself reads the damn thing. Besides, everyone has a lapse every now and then, and I have a good excuse- I had a migraine. Yes, for 2 days. It sucked, so feel bad for me. Ok, you can stop now.

So, last 2 days- well, I babied my headache, so I guess that's something I did for myself. Not much I can do for myself tomorrow- busy day. I have a concert that I am feeling a little uneasy about tomorrow at 2. Then I have a rehearsal at 5:30- lots of singing going on tomorrow. So, it should be a good day, but a busy one. I think I will make myself pancakes for breakfast. Maybe. Not sure since I have errands to run in the morning, plus warming up an stuff like that. If I don't, I promise to watch some totally lame movie- maybe even while locked in the office stamping.. ha HA! That can always be an old stand by for selfishness- but it takes so much time! Stamping is way more fun when my friend Beth cuts everything out for me first. At home, I ahve to do it all myself! Sheesh!

Oh well, goodnight to me!

Wiped out!

Another successful day has left me completely whooped! But I got dinner on the table and STILL managed to have a great time stamping! Even got to spend time with Reeny who was able to go too!

So , I guess I don't have to spend an hour stamping- because I already did!

Tomorrow is a busy day, so I think the only thing I am going to shoot for is drinking enough water (And decaf tea) and having a cup of coffee in silence. Dinner is already made ;)

I made it through!

Yes, 1st day back came and went- just as I predicted! And it went just fine, although I am super exhausted. We had a read through of the show today, and it went pretty well. I think that the cast is going to be really good- and I can't wait to get into some blocking and choreography. I also have some pretty cool ideas for the set- and this kid just spouted out a terrific idea that I think is going to be pretty awesome as well!

Speaking of choreography- these two kids- football players- in the 8th grade came to me a while ago asking if I would help them with the dance moves to "My Girl" because they wanted to do it for the talent show (yes, we have a talent show-don't get me started). I thought they would never follow through, but they've been totally hunting me down- so I had to get all the moves down tonight- a la Temptations. I really hope they stick with it once they see the dance. THey are really nice kids, and I think the audience will get a kick out of it!

So, I managed to get up early and enjoy a cup of coffee on my own! It was a milestone- but tomorrow's task is more involved. I mean- seriously? I think the coffee thing was a cop out. Tomorrow I have a meeting after school, and then stamp club at night, but I am not sure I will be able to make it to both. Not to mention that I won't see Kirsten at all if I do that, so I may need to miss stamping, which is a bummer. SO, if I do skip stamping, I will spend one hour stamping on my own once she goes to bed. This is especially difficult to make myself do when I have work that day, and the the next- but I think it is important so I can maintain my sanity.

I will hopefully also be up early enough to put dinner in the crock pot AND have some coffee in a real mug, in a chair (that's not part of the car). Look at me compounding my goals for each day! I'll be a perfect person in NO TIME. Oh wait- I have no intention of becoming perfect.

In the meantime, I am fairly certain that I am the only one reading this silly blog, but I am always saying to myself how much I WANT to do- and then never do it. So I will continue to write down what I want to do every night- just in case someone actually reads it and chooses to hold me accountable for my mental well being. If no on is reading, well then I guess it's more of an online diary! Either way I guess it is healthy!

Good night!

it is time.....

Yup, break is over! It's quite sad. I had some very large plans for this break- building a scale model of my set, choreographing all of the numbers, putting away "Christmas", cleaning the house, getting caught up on laundry, reading a book, and the list can go on. I got precisely NOTHING done over break! I kept saying- oh it's ok I have a whole week! oops. Now I have the world's worst case of the Sunday night dread. School tomorrow- I have lesson plans, but I can't remember what state I left my room in. Kids might show up for chamber tomorrow, or they might not. I have choir tomorrow- and no folders set up. I don't even know if they will have my risers in my rehearsal "hallway". *Sigh*

Tomorrow will come and tomorrow will go- and it'll all be fine. I am launching into musical season, which has always been my favorite time of year. This year it is bittersweet- new building, so things aren't going to be exactly the way I am used to it being. New person to direct with, no stage, different set up all together! Ugh!

So, at any rate today I did as I said- planned all of the meals for the week, and BJ went to the store, and it all looks like a good plan. I also set up a family calendar on the fridge so that there might be some order around here between now and the show. Tomorrow's goal: survival. OK, I guess I need to do something more than that. OK, I will get up early enough to enjoy a cup of coffee while it is still hot- and before everyone else is up, so I won't be interupted. Maybe I will even iron my clothes tonight to buy me an extra 5 minutes.

Back to the real world tomorrow- wish me luck.

Blah kind of day!

Well, not every day can be productive! And that's ok! Had a rehearsal this morning- which was actually quite productive. However, the nap I took mid-day was not, nor was just bumming around the house! Oh well- Kirsten came back today with her Aunt Tonya, and I got to play with her a lot- which is productive enough for me!

So, yes, I manage to do something for myself- I drank all of my water. But ugh is it difficult on the weekend- during school it's easy- I am drinking water all day. But at home I practically had to force myself! Tomorrow's goal is to plan the meals for the week- it's musical season, and it's going to start getting pretty busy at the Hickey's! So, planplanplan! Of course, that's not really selfish, but since it will make MY life easier for the rest of the week- I guess it counts. Hopefully I can plan it that BJ will occupy Kirsten so that I can get it done without interuption!

Watching Rent with BJ now. Good night!

Great Day!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Today was great! We slept in, then had a yummy lunch at Jacquie's! We were supposed to drive to go get Kirsten, but my sister in law said she'd bring her to us tomorrow! Yay!

So, I managed to take time for myself today and go up to the office and make two cards. It was very nice to just sit there watching old tv episodes (thank you, hulu!) and stamp, color, cut, etc. The pictures are below:This one I used paper piecing for. I stamped the little chef twice- once on patterned paper, and once on very vanilla. Then you cut the parts out and put it together. I also used a cuttlebug folder and did some coloring! You can't tell from the pic, but I made his coat buttons 3D by using crystal effects!


This one had some clear embossing of the rose in the backround, then the big flower is dry embossed on water color paper and then painted in the sections. There is also stickle on the big rose. It looks really simple, but it took longer than I expected!

At any rate, I know have 2 lovely cards in my stash, and accomplished my goal yesterday! Tomorrow Kirsten is coming home, so I am picking something simple to do for myself- drink 8-10 glasses of water. Small and simple, but very important! There is a lot of singing I want to do tomorrow, and 4 cups of coffee isn't going to help me!

Have a good night, thanks for reading!

-Marisa

OK, So I have been a super sucky blogger- so here it is, my new year's resolution: to do something (however small) that is completely for ME everyday. Selfish? Absolutely! But, as any mom, dad, employee, wife, husband, or HUMAN will tell you- it is sometimes very hard to do this. We get so caught up in what we HAVE to do, that we seldom do what we want to do....or even worse- what we should do for ourselves.

So here it is: every night I plan to post the one selfish thing I have planned for the next day. It will probably be something silly to the rest of the world, but important to me. Read if you like, or don't- it really doesn't matter because I 'm supposed to be doing this for me, right? Right.

Tomorrow: I am going to make sure that I spend some time in my office crafting (I told you it would be ridiculous to others). My goal is to make at least one card, hopefully two. I will let you know how that works out for me!

BTW, please keep in mind that I am a music teacher, not an English or reading teacher. I am a much better sing than I am a writer. If anyone is out there, I'll write to you tomorrow!